We can call him Tommy and he definitely was a son of a bitch. Even given that, everybody still like him and he was popular in the neighborhood until he was hit by a car. Unfortunately, Tommy’s back was broken and he was left paralyzed. After that people didn’t seem to care about him that much anymore.
Then Tommy met Susan Fulcher and she was ready to help Tommy just like she had helped dozens of other dogs who were paralyzed. Susan runs the Dharma Rescue Organization in Los Angeles California. As I watched the video and listened to the reporter on the CBS Evening News last night I knew this was something that I wanted to share. Each dog is fitted with a custom “doggie wheelchair” and then helped to adjust to their new lives helping others.
What struck me about the report was the dogs’ ability to quickly overcome and adapt to their disability and new life. I started thinking they must have accepted what had happened to them, did little or no reflecting about the what ifs and so were ready to move on. While I was going through rehabilitation at Craig hospital, I was overcome by the thought that my new life would be unproductive and I would just exist until I passed away. After a while, I began to realize what happened to me in my new life was almost completely under my control. I made some mental (attitudinal) adjustments and began to move on with a more positive outlook. These dogs just move on approaching their new life with enthusiasm and thus have the ability to help others. It is absolutely critical, I believe, for an individual who has suffered a catastrophic life changing event to accept what has happened to them and move on. Little good can come from dwelling on what has happened and wondering about the what ifs.
It was years ago, after Christopher Reeve’s injury that his attitude of nothing was going to prevent him from walking again caused dissension in the disabled community. He finally realized and accepted the fact that he would be paralyzed for the rest of his life. I don’t think an individual can move forward with their life if they refuse, at least on a conscious level, to accept what has happened. Let these dogs serve as an example of what can be accomplished if we are willing to accept what has happened to us and move forward.
Posted in Ability, Attitude, Community Inclusion, Determination, Disability, Education, Friendship, Love, Nature, Observation, Pet Therapy, Reality, Sensitivity
Tagged adapting, control, lifestyle, physically challenged, quadriplegia, relationship, society
Posted in Behavior, Community Inclusion, Disability, Education, Observation, Reality, Recreation, Stuggling
Tagged depression, quadriplegia, society, Insensitivity
Take a minute and try, try hard, to imagine sitting in a chair for 12 hours (a day), 84 hours (a week), 2,520 hours (a month), 30,240 hours (a year), and 302,400 hours (a decade). I could keep going, but I hope by now you’ve got the point. This is not a “timeout” punishment. Can you imagine the repercussions today if the teacher made a child sit in a chair all day? It is also not cruel and unusual punishment that might take place in Guantánamo Bay. This is just a situation some of us in the disabled community find ourselves in. While in the chair you can’t leave to go to the bathroom or get up to go to the dinner table, you’re there till taken out. Thank God someone, a long time ago, figured out to put wheels on the chair so we can at least move around. Depending on the level of injury travel can be initiated with the hands, a joystick or a sip puff device. With a sip and puff device the individual controls the movement of the chair by sipping or puffing on a straw like device that is in their mouth.
Some individuals adjust to the situation better than others. Usually, it takes time. Looking back on my life prior to my injury I have the impression that rarely did I ever see individuals with serious disabilities acting happy. In my memory most seemed old and very unhappy (not you Ami). I purposely try to be animated and positive when out in public. Generally speaking, the other few wheelchair bound individuals I know often present in a similar manner.
At times, I wonder if some people in the able-bodied community misinterpret this behavior, thinking maybe it’s not that tough to be in a wheelchair. Often when thinking about this the words Bob Dylan sings in one of his songs comes to mind “Did you ever see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns when they did their tricks for you?” To be in the chair day in and day out is anything but easy. Most people never see the struggles that go on physically and mentally each and every day. To have made the adjustment to living your life with value and dignity while dealing with a major disability is never easy. Every day is a struggle! Some days it’s easier to adjust than others. Some of the special days make most of the other days bearable. But let me assure you if you’re not in a chair you have no idea.
Posted in Ability, Attitude, Behavior, Community Inclusion, Determination, Disability, Education, Friends, Friendship, Observation, Reality, Sensitivity, The Struggle
Tagged adapting, control, life lesson, lifestyle, physically challenged, power wheelchair, quadriplegia, society
If an individual has a disability, they will be greatly aided in their journey through life with a sense of humor. We have all heard the expression, laughter is the best medicine and I am absolutely sure that this is true. Being realistic I think developing a sense of humor may take some time after the onset of a disability. It’s my feelings, if the disability limits the person in certain ways the individual may well have to go through a grieving process.
Going to the dentist on Halloween
In my own case my quadriplegia has rendered 75% to 80% of my body paralyzed. While the paralysis starts below my armpits my arms have also been greatly affected. They have limited range of motion, intermittent feeling at best and my hands have little to no grip.
Regardless of the cause of the disability an individual has every right to feel anger, bitterness, frustration and wonder “Why me?” Depending on the circumstances, these feelings can fall onto quite a continuum. My “accident” was the result of a condition called Shore Break which was known by the National Park Service to exist in the Virgin Islands, but was pretty much kept from the beach goers. Hawaii requires, by law, warning signs be posted on any of its beaches where this condition exists. While bitter about their choice not to warn people the situation was easier for me to accept knowing it occurred while doing something I loved. How victims deal with things like being struck by a drunk driver I’ll never know, but I do know one must move on. Accepting what has happened is the beginning, a first step.
Out to eat with my new bib
In spite of an individual’s situation, what good is wallowing in self-pity going to do? After due time, one must move on. Humor can aid in that process. Even for able-bodied individuals, being able to find humor in things, being able to laugh at oneself and the situations one finds themselves in is cathartic. In no way do I mean to imply this is easy or will come naturally to most people, but “gallows humor” can really be beneficial. So my question to you is “What’s in your wallet?” Only kidding, it’s “If you can’t laugh, how’d you get here?”
Posted in Ability, Attitude, Behavior, Community Inclusion, Disability, Education, Humor, Observation, Reality, Recreation
Tagged control, life lesson, lifestyle, physically challenged, quadriplegia, Recreation, society, using your mind
Those words are the title of the Bob Dylan song written in 1964 which has become a classic. The song discusses societal changes that were taking place. It covers a variety of new attitudes that were going to happen, Dylan believed, regardless of résistance. While the song says nothing about disability or the disabled community I would imagine it would be fairly easy for Dylan to add a verse today discussing societal changes happening towards individuals with disabilities.
Peta-Murgatroyd & Niles DiMarco
Just this month (May 2016) we have seen three sign posts that I would present as examples of what is happening in our society today. The most recent would be the presenting of the Mirror Ball Trophy on Dancing with the Stars to Niles DiMarco, who won the championship despite the fact that he never heard a note of music the entire time. Niles was born deaf, but refused to allow that to stop him from obtaining goals that many would believe were impossible. In my opinion the most poignant part of all the season was when they stopped all music while he was dancing so the audience could see the challenge he was dealing with.
The second event occurred May 19 when 30 year old Charlie Linville, an Afghan war veteran and amputee, summited Mount Everest. As if to remind us how difficult, dangerous and demanding this still is, within a couple days of his accomplishment three climbers died while trying to summit.
The final event occurred earlier in May as the Invictus (which means unconquered) Games the place for three days in Orlando Florida. The concept of the games was the brainchild of Prince Harry of the United Kingdom. Knowing firsthand the sacrifices the men and women of the armed forces make to defend our freedom and way of life he decided to begin the games as a tribute to those who had made personal and those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. The Invictus Games featured 500 competitors from 15 nations: Afghanistan, Australia, Canada, Denmark, Estonia, France, Georgia, Germany, Iraq, Italy, Jordan, Netherlands, New Zealand, United Kingdom and the United States of America. We have reached a point where our society is so interested in happenings like these that the games were televised on ESPNU. The courage and strength of these individuals were on display for the entire world to see.
The entire United States team of athletes gather on stage during the closing ceremony at the Invictus Games, Thursday, May 12, 2016, in Kissimmee, Fla. (AP Photo/John Raoux)
It is my feelings that these and other events in our society show that The Times Are A-Changin’ and most people are becoming more receptive to those with differences regardless of how they present themselves.
Posted in Ability, Adaptive Technology, Attitude, Behavior, Community Inclusion, Determination, Disability, Education, Friendship, Observation, Reality, Recreation, Sensitivity, Stuggling, Wounded Warriors
Tagged adapting, control, Courage, life lesson, lifestyle, natural environment, physically challenged, Recreation, relationship, society, using your mind
In 1957 a Rock& Roll group named the Chantels had a hit called He’s Gone. Part of the lyrics are below:
“He’s gone (he’s gone)
I don’t know where
But he’s gone (he’s gone)
I must have done something wrong
He is gone (he’s gone)
I’m sorry (he’s gone)
For what I’ve done
To make you leave me…”
To hear the song, click He’s Gone.
Yesterday was Easter Sunday. Marge and I decided to go down to Lake Ontario. There is a beautiful wheelchair accessible trail not far from our home. It was sunny and around 640. Lake Ontario is quite large and the vista is similar to being at the ocean. It always reminds me of how insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things and I love that. As I sat there looking out over the vastness of the water I had a strong reminder that he was gone. He’d been gone for some time, but the memory still engulfed me. Strangely enough, I can’t remember him anymore. I guess it’s a way to protect myself. In the beginning I missed him all the time and was very bitter he had left me. For years I had very vivid dreams of what it was like when he was around, but that has changed too. Like the song says, I’m sorry for what I’ve done to make you leave me, but I know it was nothing that I did that made him leave.
I realized yesterday he really had gone and that I can’t remember him anymore, his walking, jogging or spontaneous lifestyle, etcetera. As the Chantels’ sing “I don’t know where, but he’s gone” and don’t really care anymore. My life is very different without him and that’s okay. However, I now truly believe and that’s very reassuring that he left for a reason.
Posted in Attitude, Behavior, Community Inclusion, Disability, Nature, Observation, Reality, Recreation, Sensitivity
Tagged adapting, control, Lake Ontario, life lesson, natural environment, physically challenged, quadriplegia, Recreation, society, using your mind