It’s been a trying winter this year. The ground was covered with snow before Thanksgiving and has remains covered through today (March 27). The temperature was below zero much of the time and the sun shown only occasionally giving us shut-ins a lot to deal with. However, all of that pales to the loss of my friend and invaluable helper Daniel. At first, I could not get him out of my mind, but time is slowly starting to work its magic.
The process of moving on from this terrible tragedy shares similar characteristics with an individual who is struggling with the sudden onset of a disability. The whole procedure takes time. When I began rehabilitation I was grieving the loss of 80% of my body. It has been a long and difficult road, but one that must be traveled. The process was a little easier given I was injured doing something I loved as opposed to being struck by a drunk driver. So I didn’t have to deal with that anger and resentment. Even so, it was still very difficult and remains so at times. My psychologist, at Craig Hospital, said depression and self-pity were an okay place to visit, but no place to set up residence.
A doctor told my wife in the beginning there will be mostly bad days. After a while the bad days and good days will seem to even out and then finally, after enough time the good days will outnumber the bad. His observation has proved true. One will still have bad days from time to time, but the majority will be good.In time, I believe, one must come to terms with what has happened and the fact that life will never be the same. There is the strength in each and every one of us to handle whatever challenge we are faced with. Grieving is a normal and natural process, as is the “what if” questioning. However, at some point one must accept what has happened and the changes that have occurred. After that, and knowing the alternative choices, it is imperative one begins to move on.